More shocking details have come to light on last week’s chili powder fiasco at a Fed Ex facility in Memphis.
While the incident has been reported in the media as “accidental,” Chameleon Chili Sauce has heard rumors that a rebel gourmet group is claiming responsibility for the incident.
The official story is that a fork truck driver accidentally struck a 5 gallon jug of concentrated chili powder about 2;30 am on August 16th. The powder was apparently awaiting further shipment to be made into pepper spray. Just after the puncturing of the container, one hundred and seventeen workers at the Fed Ex outdoor facility near the Memphis airport began to have breathing problems and two, a 53 year-old man and a woman in her 20s, were eventually sent to hospital with breathing difficulty. This catastrophic incident closed the facility until the air was clear enough again to resume activities.
However, the group “Inciendo Pacifica” or “Peaceful Fire” apparently issued a release shortly after the incident occurred that the breaching of the container was orchestrated by one of their operatives as a “show of force” that chili powder needs to be used for peaceful purposes such as cooking and in chili sauces and not as a weapon of mass destruction. The group leader, Chile Grande, said that it meant no harm to workers but that there needed to be an example made to demonstrate the potential for destruction if chili powder falls into the hands of villains and usurpers!
“We want to cook,” he said, “not make war.”
Chameleon Chili Sauce believes in the responsible use of chili powder and decries its abuse and use for political purposes. We use it for the good of mankind to help individuals of all different levels of cooking abilities to create gourmet masterpieces. We want to see Chameleon Chili Sauce hamburgers, Chameleon Chili Sauce Cream Cheese Dip, Chameleon Chili Sauce Chick Pea Soup. Who wouldn’t?
Get your Chameleon Chili Sauce today and participate in our peaceful protest!
Oh, yeah, this is a satire, by the way.